My Time Piece
I wish time would hurry up so I could walk and talk like my parents do, go to work like my parents do, stay up late like my parents do, and sit in the driver’s seat like my parents do, because training wheels are for kids and I’m only three feet away from finally getting to ride a rollercoaster.
I wish time would hurry up because the classroom clock is trapping me in the middle of March mornings with silent reading, but my mind is far from silent. My mind tells me at four o’clock I’ll be at home watching my favorite cartoon and Mom or Dad will come home and warmly embrace me and I’ll smile because the scents of Dad’s musk aftershave or Mom’s sterile dental office reminds me I’m safe, secure, and loved. Until then, I’ll just anxiously wait for the clock’s hands to give two thumbs up and tell me it’s time to go home.
I wish time would hurry up so I could become an adult, because my clock is covered in the fingerprints of my father, my mother, my teachers, and all these fascist kids in grade school. I can’t tell if it’s half past “I care about you” or half past “Fuck you” from all the time restrictions and penalties my Dad keeps throwing on me for staying out late, but I’ll just have to keep praying for time to move faster for the day I’ll finally walk freely on the stage.
I wish time would hurry up so I could go back home to California because the New York winters are bitter, cold, and aggressive compared to Mom and Dad’s warm embraces I used to wish for at four o’clock…but not too fast, because my clock is pummeled in syllabi guidelines and I’m ten percent away from a nervous breakdown from the amount of papers, books, and deadlines I’ll have to meet and I need more time.
And even when it isn’t, the time still doesn’t belong to me, it belongs to my work, my bosses, my bills, my loans, and I finally see I got what I wished for because time is moving fast- wait I’m graduating tomorrow?
I wish time would slow down because everyone around me is getting married, buying houses, and having kids while I’m still figuring out life’s purpose.
I wish time would slow down, because time is mercilessly out of control slashing my loved one’s leaving wrinkles as scars, breaking down their bodies, and permanently taking a few.
I wish time would slow down so I can shower the one’s I love with time, because I’ve learned quality time is a priceless commodity and the best gift one could ever receive or give and I realize now that my parents never took away my time, but rather generously gave me all of their time and I want to repay them, but I don’t have time to give anymore, because I’ve wasted the time I once had and now the time that I have is time that can’t be spared, because time is hard to catch these days and any free time I get my hands on needs to be spent selfishly to keep on surviving and acclimating with the changes created by continuous time and I want to be happy and I want to be successful and I want to love and to be loved and give my time to others, but my time is running out.
But there is still time. The time is now.